Signs of life...

Life shouldn't be this hard damn it...or complicated! I'd like to turn off that part of my heart that cares SO much about the feelings of other people. It's taken over and I can't do anything for myself any more. I hate feeling weak and helpless. I'm not by any means....I just feel that way. How do you do what's best for you when it hurts...hold on....crushes someone else? If someone can tell me please do so! Right now I'm traveling down the lame cop out rode. Ya know the one where you think if you piss someone off enough they'll just walk away. It's not working. I need more though damn it. It's not working for me! I'm a sexually charged woman who needs to feel craved and needed. I don't have unrealistic expectations by any means I know that much. I know I should feel like more than a sister or glorified maid. I need passion, romance AND friendship. Venting complete.